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Post by krazydiamond on May 14, 2009 18:36:29 GMT -5
spurred on by weeshan's post about centipedes and other nasty insect life, i thought i'd share a story and ask others to share their weirdest "bug experiences". now, i know, living in the northeast, we don't have anything like the nasty critters you guys get in the west (or south, for that matter). that is one upside of winters here.
having said that, i think we all have wasps (maybe not in the UK).
on with the story.....also titled "Why I Don't Hang Bluejeans on the Clothes Line Anymore".
One fine spring day, my husband and i were getting ready for a trip. i'd done laundry and hung a bunch of stuff out to dry. we had time to go out for lunch before we took off for the airport. on the way back for lunch (now at the time we had a cute little Mazda RX-7) i felt something...itching. itching on my butt crack....
all of a sudden (like in 20 milliseconds) my brain processed what it was. yep, a bug in my jeans.....not just any bug, a STINGING BUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thankfully, i had prescence of mind (which is unusual, as i am deathly afraid of bees) to shift into neutral and slam on the brakes. at this point, my sense of control totally evaporated and i jumped out of the car (still in the lane of the road) and pulled my pants down bearing my butt to the oncoming traffic, onlookers and passerbys.
my husband, who was happily passengering at is point didn't even have time to ask "wtf?" before he burst into uncontrollable laughter.
bee released and butt covered after a small "get it off me dance" (in the middle of the road) i was able to sit on said butt on the airplane for six hours in relative comfort.
ok, so that is one of my bug stories. what's yours?
KD
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Rogue Trader
freely admits to licking rocks
"Don't cry because you are leaving, smile because you were there."
Member since December 2008
Posts: 839
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Post by Rogue Trader on May 14, 2009 18:41:58 GMT -5
having said that, i think we all have wasps (maybe not in the UK). Yes, we have wasps here. I think we have had wasps here longer than we have had our history ;D ;D And that well well over 300 years
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Post by krazydiamond on May 14, 2009 18:43:40 GMT -5
oh, i thought y'all just had cute little honey bees, you folks don't even have screen on yer windows!!
KD
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Post by Tweetiepy on May 14, 2009 18:50:55 GMT -5
I'll share mine. It's rather tame but still laughable.
Sat down one day with a bag of Cheetos cheesies & proceeded to stuff my face with the delicious snack.
At some point I saw/felt something in my cleavage, looked down and caught a glimpse of some sort of foreign object (a bug of sorts) nothing dangerous but something that shouldn't be there regardless. :help:
I then proceed to frantically pull my top away from my body and grab at the material to try to get this thing out of my bra.
I finally manage this, but then in walks hubby - staring at my chest which is now totally covered with fluffy orange finger prints. He looks at me, laughs and says "Can I play too?" :cheesy: :drool:
I still eat cheesies but I always check my cleavage for bugs first... :blush:
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Rogue Trader
freely admits to licking rocks
"Don't cry because you are leaving, smile because you were there."
Member since December 2008
Posts: 839
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Post by Rogue Trader on May 14, 2009 18:52:58 GMT -5
oh, i thought y'all just had cute little honey bees, you folks don't even have screen on yer windows!! KD We don't have screens on our windows because we are hard bastards
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Post by akansan on May 14, 2009 19:05:26 GMT -5
We were in Panama (Dad was stationed there), where bugs grow big. One night, we were coming home from some high school event and waiting on our sidewalk was the longest grasshopper I had ever seen. The thing was almost 9" long. We ooooed and aaaaaed over the grasshopper, grabbed a ruler and a camera and were very, very brave. Until we opened our door and went inside. It came in as well. And landed on my back. I proceeded to jump and scream and squeal like a little girl while my family LAUGHED at me. They just LAUGHED!!! And then they learned as well. Flying, evil grasshoppers aren't as neat as cute jumping grasshoppers. I think it eventually landed on every single one of us before someone was smart enough to run outside while it was still on them.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2009 19:13:39 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, KD, Tweet, akansan......THEM'S were the stories I was waiting for. Bearing bums and boobies for all to see, why do the damn bugs know exactly where to go? Shan
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Post by sitnwrap on May 14, 2009 19:53:11 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, KD, Tweet, akansan......THEM'S were the stories I was waiting for. Bearing bums and boobies for all to see, why do the damn bugs know exactly where to go? Shan Bugs do like dark moist places ;D
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Post by BAZ on May 14, 2009 20:02:47 GMT -5
We get centipedes in the house before winter. I was walking downstairs a few years ago, early morning, in the dark. My Spidey Sense told me to switch on the light as I reached the first floor. Lucky I did as there was a centipede right were I would have placed my next, unlit step.
Another time I was sitting at this here desk with my hand on my mouse, probably babbling on here on RTH. Something caught my eye to the right. Another evil centipede headed right toward my hand like he was on a mission.
I can handle snakes, spiders and bees, but I destain them 'pedes! Scorpions and Black Widows too! Evil creatures, evil!
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Post by cpdad on May 14, 2009 20:12:08 GMT -5
i gots one.....they didnt get in my but crack or nothing ;D.
while digging yellow jackets....we use a flare to put the critters to sleep....then we dig the nest.....some yellow jackets are always missed.....some just dont wanna go to sleep ;D.....so when we start digging.....the one standing behind the digger....sprays a can of raid or stuff into the air to keep the live ones away.
well i had the can of raid on this dig.....he started digging the nest....it was a huge nest.... bigger than normal... then matures showed up with a vengence.....i went to start spraying.....and the stupid can was a dud.
i took about 30 or 40 hits from the yellow jackets....then decided i had to leave there ;D......ba%$#rds....followed me out....after i got away from them.....i decided i should go back in and help donnie....the digger.
shoot on my way back into the fight...with a new flare.....he had already dug the nest....and left the other way.....when i got back to the nest....the ba^&$terds attacked me again ;D....i went back to the truck stung all up.
took me weeks to get over all the stings.....yellow jackets are mean ;D
i aint gonna mention the water moccasin that bit me twice ;D.....they aint bugs ;D....kev.
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Post by BAZ on May 14, 2009 20:35:03 GMT -5
Never been stung by a bee until I was 30, and it was by ALOT of jackets. My buddies Malamute dug up a nest on a hike, they aren't fun to contend with.
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Post by Condor on May 14, 2009 20:37:02 GMT -5
Here's mine. Went camping. Went in ear. Thought I had water in it. Lasted about two hours, even after I took a nap. Woke up. I kept tugging at my ear. Pressed finger right behind earlobe. Voila! This came out. 'Nuff said. Condor
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Post by BAZ on May 14, 2009 20:41:53 GMT -5
Holy crap! That thing didn't bite you?
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Post by BAZ on May 14, 2009 20:50:03 GMT -5
OK Condor made me want to find this one in my old pics. Anyone remember when I dressed this one up to look like Paris Hilton? (long time ago in RTH history) I was in the woods out back and picked up a rock with this devil under it.
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Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,466
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Post by Sabre52 on May 14, 2009 20:52:57 GMT -5
OK, here's an odd one. When I worked for the Agricultural Department, it often fell to me to work the odd calls because of my odd assortment of knowledge. Things really took a turn though when I encountered my first cases of delusory parasitosis. This highly contagious psychosis usually occurs when a woman is forced by her husband to move into a house she hates. The affected person then becomes convinced the home is infested with tiny insect parasites that come from the walls, vents etc and attack her making the home unlivable. These folks are so convincing that they usually have their spouse, kids etc all convinced that the home is infested so that everyone has the creepy crawlies. In a worse case scenario I encountered, the wife actually threw a whole house full of brand new furniture into the front yard, hacked it up with a knife in her search for the illusive parasites, and was busily chainsawing apart the walls of the house when the hubby got home and called me. Most the time the folks would bring a bottle of lint or dirt into the office which contained no insects or parasites and swear up and down the insects were right there. They would then often then open the bottle and yell, " See they're jumping out and burrowing under my skin!" Invariably, everyone in the house would be scratched up, coated with creams and bandages etc. But my absolute favorite, was the gal who came in with her children and dog, everyone all covered with rashes from too much insect repellent use and scratching and proudly presented to me her "board of proof". This was a huge sheet of cardboard covered with labeled scabs, skin pieces, dandruff, hair etc that she claimed were parasitic insects. To top it off, she had graciously and specifically described where each sample had come from Ie. This one's from my ass, this one's from my nose, this ones from my pits and going on an on to include every orifice of her, her kids and yes, her dogs body. After examining each sample under the scope and of course, finding nothing, I referred her to the doctors at the health dept where she would later be sent to a shrink. Then when I quit shuddering and gagging *L* I went into the restroom and practically took a shower, and returned to vigorously Lysol my entire desk. And I gotta tell you, even though them bugs were imaginary the whole affair creeped me out enough I went home and took a couple of long showers and still my skin crawled for days. Sometimes ya know a job just sucks! *L*......Mel
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docharber
has rocks in the head
Member since October 2008
Posts: 693
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Post by docharber on May 14, 2009 21:03:01 GMT -5
Akansan, yes there are wasps in the UK- like yellow jackets. When we lived there we had Victoria plum trees in yr yard, loaded wuith fruit in the summertime. They were longish like plum tomatoes and very sweet. One problem- the fruit crawled with wasps, much like yellow jackets in size and color. We never got stung, but were really careful when picking and covered the container to keep hitchhikers out of the house.
oNce when I was deployed to the desert on an exercise (Somalia, the horn of Africa area on the gulf of Aden), our camp had outdoor latrines with a 4 foot plywood enclosure around them and a deck underfoot. There were huge brown spiders there, about 5-6" across, that liked to hang on the walls and could move really fast. One night a guy in our squadron was nailed on the ankle about 4 times before he could get away. Nothing seriously venomous, but painful. Oddly, we never saw a scorpion or snake there, except for sea snakes which were thick in the waters off the local docks.
Mak H.
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Post by Bejewelme on May 14, 2009 22:46:21 GMT -5
OM Gosh these stories are too funny!!! Mel I was dying reading yours!! KD, that is the funniest!!! Tweet-I could feed a family of four with what I find in my cleavage!!! LOL Condor-WTF, OMGosh, that is so gross!!! I would sleep with bandaids on my ears!!!
I am sure my Ehrlich man would be posting about the crazy lady on Sycamore Drive where I lived. I had him on speed dial, and whenever I saw ANYTHING bug related I called him! We had the unlimited service plan!! LOL!! And I freak at all bugs and rodents!!!
So one morning when Bobby was baby, my ex left for work and this huge bird like thing flew in the house and it was big and buzzing and I was screaming, and I thought this thing was going to kill my infant son! So I grabbed Bobby, ran up to his nursery and closed the door and stuffed towels at the bottom of it, he was wailing away and I was waiting for the bug man to come! Meanwhile I had a broom and was following this creature that was in my house! Mind you I was a few weeks post partum, nursing and on a hormone surge.
So with broom in hand I was swatting at it, knocked a hole in the drywall when I hit at it and missed and broke a heavy picture that was hanging on the wall! So darn--- it got away, so I am running through the house trying to find this thing before it kills the baby, well finally it goes way up in the corner of our second story foyer so there was no way I could reach it. So I went up to the landing and was leaning over the railing when the bug man came to the door, I was screaming, the baby was crying, and I was yelling come in, well he comes in and assesses the situation, and he looks at me and says I think you have a problem, and I am like No S**T!!!!
Well I look down and my milk is running out all over the place in a puddle at our feet, and I am now dying of embarrassment!!! In all my chaos I never got the baby fed, was still in PJ's and I was in such a tiz worrying about the bug! So he goes and gets this long vacuum hose thing, and tries to suck the bug up, but it starts flying, so more screaming, finally it is attached to the suction of the hose and it is too big to be sucked in so he opened the front door and took it outside! Turns out it was some kind of large rare mosquito, he thought it was really cool, and the darn thing flew away! He said it didn't even sting! LOL!! So there I was all milked up, glass and drywall dust everywhere and had to explain to the ex, what the heck happened that day!! LOL, No wonder he divorced me!!!
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10thumbs
spending too much on rocks
I want to be reincarnated as a dog.
Member since March 2009
Posts: 480
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Post by 10thumbs on May 14, 2009 23:18:59 GMT -5
I'm a bug nut. I catch praying mantises in the morning during the summer and keep them in a container in my 2nd floor home office. I open the window and the screen as I'm working. When a yellow jacket flies in I close the screen and trap him in the office with me. Then I put a praying mantis on the screen and let nature take it's course. I'll let the mantids gorge on four or five flying insects and then their back in the garden after work.
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Post by mohs on May 14, 2009 23:53:11 GMT -5
The best nature picture I ever stumbled upon was a tarantula hawk dragging a paralyzed tarantula off to its den, I suppose it looked just like this one when I bent down to take a close up I swear that wasp, released that tarantula, stood on its hind legs, and gave me a evil stare unfortunately the picture is lost
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Post by Woodyrock on May 15, 2009 1:57:21 GMT -5
I worked one winter in Phoenix, and having just moved there, I was not accustomed to the bugs that turned up where I was working. My fellow workers were haveing a hay day supplying new bugs just to see my reaction. One day, I found this very brightly coloured centipede about eight inches long right where I was working. Now, assuming it was one, a prank, and two that it was plastic by the colours, so, I picked it up. It promptly bit me. I recaptured it and took it home to show my wife. I have never brought home another bug to show her, and likely never will. Woody
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