Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,456
|
Post by Sabre52 on Mar 11, 2014 15:46:17 GMT -5
Howdy folks,
Well, just got back from my afternoon constitutional. Usually I take a walk for an hour or so through the horse pasture everyday but today was just odd. As I was strolling peacefully along this fine warm day, I heard a wild turkey purring nearby and went to turn around but was suddenly assaulted by a 30 pound tom climbing my backside and pounding me silly with his wings. Mildly offended, I peeled him off me and tossed him aside. He immediately puffed himself up and proceeded to climb my right leg and sink a quarter inch diameter spur into my shin. Then as I was hoppin and cussin he proceeded to kung foo me in the nads with both feet while beating me about the face with his wings. Patiently, I again removed him from my body and scolded him at some length about his bad behavior. Then, after I was able to straighten up and take a deeper breath ( a thirty pound double thump in the nads tends to take one's breath away) I proceeded upon my walk. Unconvinced about his improper behavior, Mr. Tom continued to follow me a full mile back to my jeep and assaulted me at least half a dozen more times, all the while gobbling, strutting, booming and turning every color of red, white and blue you can imagine. Little scudder actually followed my jeep for awhile when I was leaving. First time I've ever had a turkey do that to me and I hope the last. Gives you a pretty good idea how it would have been dealing with a Velicoraptor type dinosaur. After about the eighth attack and having blood dripping down my leg for about a mile, I've got to say, I was starting to lose my friendly feelings towards wild turkeys and think a bit more about Thanksgiving.....Mel
|
|
Thunder69
Cave Dweller
Thunder 2000-2015
Member since January 2009
Posts: 3,101
|
Post by Thunder69 on Mar 11, 2014 16:57:31 GMT -5
LOL ..Where is a video camera when you need one...Too funny...JOhn
|
|
riverrock
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since April 2010
Posts: 1,395
|
Post by riverrock on Mar 11, 2014 17:13:16 GMT -5
A good stick and a nice fire , would teach him a lesson.
|
|
lparker
fully equipped rock polisher
Still doing too much for being retired!
Member since March 2008
Posts: 1,202
|
Post by lparker on Mar 11, 2014 19:16:50 GMT -5
Howdy folks,..... I was starting to lose my friendly feelings towards wild turkeys and think a bit more about Thanksgiving.....Mel I believe that after that first attack, I would be having turkey for supper. You are much more tolerant than I. Lee #1
|
|
Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,456
|
Post by Sabre52 on Mar 11, 2014 20:19:13 GMT -5
Yeah, I tolerate stuff from animals I'd never take off a human. I always figure animals just do what they are hardwired to do. Humans have a choice as to whether or not to do bad things and be aholes. That's why I like animals better than most humans. I find birds especially fascinating. Their beauty and behavior never ceases to amaze me and they are much much smarter than folks give them credit for. After all, they are the net result of a hundred million years of dinosaur evolution. That turkey was a hoot and totally fearless. I was much bigger and heavier and he still tried to kick my ass and did a pretty good job of it too *L*....Mel
|
|
|
Post by rockpickerforever on Mar 11, 2014 21:13:07 GMT -5
Sorry to hear you got your butt kicked and handed to you by a turkey, Mel. But your humorous narrative sure put a smile on my face . Agree with Lee, I doubt I would have been so tolerant. Mmmm, turkey sandwiches!
|
|
gemfeller
Cave Dweller
Member since June 2011
Posts: 3,781
|
Post by gemfeller on Mar 11, 2014 21:27:30 GMT -5
Big birds can be fierce. Be thankful your turkey wasn't a cassowary. They've killed people.
You're much more patient than me. That bird would have ended up as turkey puree if it had attacked me that way.
|
|
|
Post by tkrueger3 on Mar 11, 2014 21:40:36 GMT -5
Since this is the normal wild turkey nesting season, my guess is that you just got too close to a horny old (relatively, since they only live 3 or 4 years on average) tom trying to gather a harem, and he just naturally took offense. I woulda liked to have seen a video of that encounter, though - it would have probably made not only the 5:00 news, but also would have a few hundred thousand hits on youtube! Tom
|
|
Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,456
|
Post by Sabre52 on Mar 11, 2014 22:33:10 GMT -5
When my wife came home to find me doctoring my leg and heard the story. First thing she said was, boy I wish I'd a been there with my camera. Second thing she said was she'da probably been laughin too hard to hold her camera still anyway. *L* Third thing she said was there ain't no way she's taking a walk in the pasture no how! *L* She may have a bit of a odd sense of humor but she does have good sense overall.
Tom: I know the turkey must have thought there was a reason to stage his ninja attack but I gotta say, following me clear across the pasture to my jeep was unnecessary overkill on his part. That old booger must have one hell of a big territory he's claiming!....Mel
|
|
|
Post by Pat on Mar 11, 2014 22:47:58 GMT -5
Wondering if it had rabies. !
Maybe he was just impressing the girls:)
|
|
deedolce
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since October 2006
Posts: 1,828
|
Post by deedolce on Mar 12, 2014 0:18:14 GMT -5
You're a patient man Mel! He would have been dinner with me - I'd only see an overgrown, over-sized rooster headed for freezer camp at the first draw of blood (mine, that is)
|
|
|
Post by Rockoonz on Mar 12, 2014 1:25:38 GMT -5
Yep, I think the Lees would be feasting on that contrary critter
|
|
droseraguy
Cave Dweller
Member since April 2012
Posts: 426
|
Post by droseraguy on Mar 12, 2014 6:10:00 GMT -5
Great memories are made in the oddest of ways. Glad you both lived thru it. He needs to put on some summer weight anyway, with winter and all. Not to say that you were bested by a skinny turkey.
|
|
Fossilman
Cave Dweller
Member since January 2009
Posts: 20,681
|
Post by Fossilman on Mar 12, 2014 9:37:35 GMT -5
Ahh heck,I gotta say it Mel-he must not of liked your cologne....LOL.... Yuppers,I had a rooster chicken attack me everyday for a bit too,finally kicked him like a football,didn't bother me anymore..
|
|
panamark
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since September 2012
Posts: 1,343
|
Post by panamark on Mar 12, 2014 10:22:02 GMT -5
Mel, We had to get rid of our tom (we called him Walter as he looked like Walter Matthau, ha). I looked out one spring day and he had our young child on the ground raking him. Needless to say that never happened again. Years later another tom took to attacking anything red. He used to chase our Honda motorcycle for hours, ha.
Another similar incident was a Baltimore Oriel that was possessed by the sideview mirror on our car. He was knocking himself senseless trying to beat up that mysterious mean rival bird he could only see through the magic portal. We had to cover the mirror - for his sake and the car's.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Member since January 1970
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 19:36:18 GMT -5
Mel, please forgive me for laughing at your misfortune. Your story telling ability is immense!
For me, this image will last a lifetime.
kung foo me in the nads is perhaps the best quote this website has ever seen.
It's turkey mating season now all over north america. My take is that Tom is lucky you didn't wring his neck in frustration. Besides isn;t a nice turkey for easter a good thing?
Glad you are well and thanks for the tear inducing story.
|
|
Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,456
|
Post by Sabre52 on Mar 13, 2014 21:48:39 GMT -5
You know, I took my afternoon walk again today and this time crossed the pasture to the other side of the creek to avoid the damn turkey's territory. Well, you guessed it. I was a mile from my jeep and again " Gobble Gobble" the freaking ninja, Bruce Lee, turkey was over on the other side of the creek this time. This time though, I hiked extra fast and, though he ran for all he was worth, he fell victim to his own vanity. He had to puff all up, gobble, and stomp around to display before he could work himself up to attack and each time he did that, he quit running and I stayed ahead of him. Got back to the jeep with no contact a full hundred yards in advance of him. *L*. Too bad Mr Gobbler. Nyaa Nyaa!
I did however find a fresh dead blackbuck near the jeep and the booger turkey almost caught me up while I was cutting off the buck's head so I could skeletonize it. Just managed to get into the jeep abut ten feet ahead of the turkey and again it actually ran alongside the jeep for about a quarter mile. That tom is one mean, ornery, persistent SOB!......Mel
|
|
gemfeller
Cave Dweller
Member since June 2011
Posts: 3,781
|
Post by gemfeller on Mar 13, 2014 22:03:06 GMT -5
Mel, there's a popular restaurant up the coast in Pismo Beach that serves a special appetizer called turkey nuts. That's what they are too, deep-fried and crusty. Maybe you ought to take a net and a very sharp knife with you on your next walk. That would afford you a nice snack and would probably sweeten the old bird's disposition too.
|
|
Sabre52
Cave Dweller
Me and my gal, Rosie
Member since August 2005
Posts: 20,456
|
Post by Sabre52 on Mar 14, 2014 7:18:13 GMT -5
*LOL* "Deep fried and crusty!" Yuk! But yeah, I suppose if there's a restaurant anywhere where nuts are being eaten, it would be in California. What's the man course, sausage? **....Mel
|
|
gemfeller
Cave Dweller
Member since June 2011
Posts: 3,781
|
Post by gemfeller on Mar 14, 2014 10:07:12 GMT -5
Nope, not sausage. It's a place called McClintock's and they specialize in oak pit BBQ'd beef as well as seafood. Here's the turkey tale: www.mclintocks.com/menus/index.asp
|
|