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Post by docone31 on Jul 29, 2014 12:00:14 GMT -5
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hill billy walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but Iain't niver seed nobody do it!'
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Post by Toad on Jul 29, 2014 14:22:35 GMT -5
Ha!
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turnedstone
freely admits to licking rocks
Member since January 2006
Posts: 766
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Post by turnedstone on Jul 31, 2014 1:57:52 GMT -5
oh my that was a good one doc you kill me. George
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Post by docone31 on Jul 31, 2014 7:46:35 GMT -5
Well, take that!
In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin.
However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked a priest who was sitting beside her,
"Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course, child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare," was the reply. The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next please!
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