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Post by deb193redux on May 6, 2008 22:35:47 GMT -5
Someone in our club has a claim for this stuff. I like some of it, but most of it is too red. Also some fractures. I tried some virtual cabs, but they don't really excite me. I will definately keep the big egg, but I'm offering the dark red end-cut with the large trees, and might get rid of one of the smaller chunks. Tell me a joke. Whoever make me laugh the most in the next day or 3 will get the end-cut.
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adrian65
Cave Dweller
Arch to golden memories and to great friends.
Member since February 2007
Posts: 10,787
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Post by adrian65 on May 7, 2008 8:58:47 GMT -5
OK, here's my try to make you laugh:
****
A rabbit found a gun into the forest. He took it and kept walking, and he met the wolf. He told him: - Hey, Wolf, see that gun? BANG, BANG (shooting). If you don't eat that s#!t ... BANG, BANG, I'll shoot you! The wolf, being scared by the gun, eats all of it. The rabbit kept walking and met the bear. -Hey, Bear, see that gun? BANG, BANG! If you don't eat that s#!t CLICK, CLICK, then ... I will!
****
Be careful not to laugh too long, eitherway this laugh will cost you some money ;D
Adrian
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MidNight~Rocksi3
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since January 2008
Posts: 1,716
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Post by MidNight~Rocksi3 on May 7, 2008 9:11:56 GMT -5
Well your title alone had me curious as to what kinda rockin you was doing.., that had you trying to like it rough!.. .. almost broke my finger trying to hurry up and get in here! lol. jks..
Cool Rocks!
*smiles*
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Post by stonesthatrock on May 7, 2008 10:20:11 GMT -5
ok heres mine......... John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!
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Post by fishenman on May 7, 2008 10:54:22 GMT -5
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning", said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open...'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder. 'The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'
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Post by Tweetiepy on May 7, 2008 13:21:49 GMT -5
I don't see a thing wrong with your red rocks - beats the grey stuff we have here - but I'll try to cheer you up anyways...
A bear is taking a dump in the forest and ask another bear "When you poop, does the poop get stuck to your fur?" to which the second one replies "yes".
A racoon walks by and the bear asks him "When you poop, does the poop get stuck to your fur?" the racoon replies "yes".
A rabbit walks by and the bear asks him "When you poop, does the poop get stuck to your fur?" the rabbit says "No". The bear then grabs the rabbit and uses the rabbit to wipe his butt!
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Simon
spending too much on rocks
Member since March 2009
Posts: 352
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Post by Simon on May 7, 2008 14:54:22 GMT -5
Kinda cool, first piece in first pic reminds me of ogham script.
'Next Life' by Woody Allen
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.
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hope
spending too much on rocks
Member since May 2008
Posts: 477
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Post by hope on May 7, 2008 23:18:37 GMT -5
This is just great! I laughed so hard at these jokes, I forgot the one I was going to tell.
Hope
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Saskrock
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since October 2007
Posts: 1,852
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Post by Saskrock on May 7, 2008 23:21:46 GMT -5
A guy is out drinking pretty heavy one night at the local bar. By about 3 in the morning he figures he better go home before the wife gets really mad. He stands up to go and falls flat on his face. Not to be stopped he tries to get up again same result. He finally ends up dragging himself across the ground the 3 blocks home. Once home he very quietly crawls into bed and is feeling pretty pleased because his wife is still sound asleep and will never know he was drinking so hard. Come morning he wakes up to his wife yelling at him for drinking so hard last night. Defending himself he claims to have only had 2 beers and came home early. "yeah right" she says, "then where is your wheelchair?"
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Post by catmandewe on May 7, 2008 23:57:25 GMT -5
2 Ladies are walking down the main street when a cowboy pulls his horse up to the hitchin rack, ties his horse up and walks around behind his horse, lifts its tail and kisses his horse full on the rectum. Both women are repulsed and one of them says "THATS DISGUSTING!!! Why in the world would you do that?" The cowboy replies "because I have chapped lips" She says, "OH? does that make them feel better?" He replies "NO, but it keeps me from licking them."
Tony
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Post by deb193redux on May 8, 2008 0:09:27 GMT -5
Ok, Scott is it so far. I was thinking something around his legs or something, but I was not expecting the wheelchair.
Scott can have the end-cut or the chunk in the center of the 2nd pic.
I'll give what he leaves to someone else. Could be the current runnerup, but I can always hope for another belly laugh.
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Simon
spending too much on rocks
Member since March 2009
Posts: 352
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Post by Simon on May 8, 2008 9:42:17 GMT -5
There's more.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled 'LSD' ?' Granny replies, 'F@*# the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!!'
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watchin'?' Billy says, 'Wimbledon.!
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Post by krazydiamond on May 8, 2008 11:38:41 GMT -5
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13...13....13...13.'
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting. '14...14...14...14....'.
that is some weird rough...what is it?
KD
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Post by Fidalgo Island Rock hound on May 8, 2008 11:47:16 GMT -5
Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watchin'?' Billy says, 'Wimbledon.! Just a reminder: Ask the kids why they are asking the question so you're not giving them the answer to something they didn't ask.
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Post by texaswoodie on May 8, 2008 11:55:12 GMT -5
KD's got my vote. Curt
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Post by deb193redux on May 8, 2008 16:56:38 GMT -5
Yeah, KD made me laugh.
I'll PM Scott and KD to sort out which piece they each want. Thanks for playing folks.
Hold on to good jokes, cause I might have some more rough to get rid of.
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Saskrock
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since October 2007
Posts: 1,852
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Post by Saskrock on May 9, 2008 2:15:34 GMT -5
I never win anything, this is great. I'll take the end cut. Thanks for giving away the rock, very nice of you. I pm'd my address to you. Thanks once again.
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Saskrock
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since October 2007
Posts: 1,852
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Post by Saskrock on Jun 2, 2008 20:16:31 GMT -5
Just got my rock I won! It "was" kind of neat, "was" because my 10 year old son decided it was a must have for his collection. I'm way too much of a softy. Anyhow thanks for the prize.
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Post by deb193redux on Jun 3, 2008 3:21:29 GMT -5
Well, I support giving rocks to kids. When I get a slab off the big one, I'll send it you way.
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Saskrock
fully equipped rock polisher
Member since October 2007
Posts: 1,852
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Post by Saskrock on Jun 4, 2008 1:00:00 GMT -5
Thanks, my daughter will probably grab that. She and her brother "rock paper scissored" for the last one. I also give quite a few rocks to kids, I have been scattering my "extra" tumbled rocks around the school yard. The teachers tell me its like a big easter egg hunt at recess.
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